*Disclaimer, please note that I am dyslexic so if there are grammatical errors and spelling mistakes deal with it!
So I am not saying that I don’t get culture, I totally do, and no I am not a coconut or abandoning my ancestral “heritage” but I do find some forms of cultural obligations to difficult to swallow especially within the Asian community.
I have realised that there are a range of attitudes and behaviours which seem to be unsavoury to the morally inclined but somewhat second nature to those who don’t actually realise these are wrong.
In this series of blogs, I will try to highlight some obvious subjects about the “bad habits” we face on a daily within cultures around the world and homing in to a culture I know more about, the Pakistani one.
“Those who do not bear witness to what is false, but when they pass by pointless talk, pass by with dignity” [25:72], “
Let me start with one and go into little summary on how they affect the environment around you and the energies we absorb:
Gossiping – Now this is one that runs through the blood of mankind, it seems to be innately grained into our attitudes and natures, however it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
Scenario – Something I have experienced is the he said she said concept where whatever information the receptor has gathered is taken, either in or out of context and delivered to another and then passed on until the cycle of “community” is complete to come back like Chinese whispers only to find that the topic of discussion is associated to judgement, misinterpretation and a little salt for flavouring the unsavoury pallet.
Impact – Now gossiping can have both positive and negative results both for the one gossiping and the one they are gossiping about.
Negative – The results of the topic whether truthful or not can cause mountains of discomfort for the individual and the people closest to them, especially within a community of culture (lets associate the Pakistani culture because it is the one I have the most experience with to appropriately associate with). It can affect the relationship of that person with those around them causing a whole level of mistrust and anxiety, feelings of isolation and distance. this in result will generate a fear of being able to trust pretty much anyone around them.
Positive (because you have to look at the bright side even in a shitty situation) – If you are a topic of gossip then you must be important, there must be something about you which irk’s the conversation between the gossiping kind and your life is obviously important to them. Think of it as you are feeding their small intellect, and that is what good people do, they feed the needy.
Summary – Whether you are the topic of gossip or you are a gossiper, you must realise that the act impacts everyone around you. As a gossiper it’s yourself who you are tainting, you are the person who people will not trust and will in the end become lonely and bitter (in your mind because people usually keep their enemies closer to keep safe from them) so be careful and try to stop. It is a habit and like all habits needs curbing, try talking to someone about it and being frank about your problem, it is okay to open up about your faults, its actually therapeutic when healing the soul. For the person in the topic, all I can say is you keep being you but realise that not everyone is your friend, the difficult fact of life especially in a society of “sharing” that not everything you do or say will be understood by those who don’t care about what you are saying other than a discomfort for you. Seek solace in your faith and try to cut out negative impacts to keep your circle clean which will help your mind and soul be centred.
Not only is gossip just plain old horrid, it is in fact a habit which is disliked within Islam so it goes against our faith, I have found this great article on Productivemuslim.com (http://productivemuslim.com/practical-tips-to-stop-wasting-time-in-gossip/) which may help you stop. I mean this is what I don’t get, if it’s something not liked by our faith then why do they all seem to do it? It surpasses me. I do hope that people realise that generating negativity encourages negative energy around them. JUST STOOOP!
My aim is to start a movement of change, to create a culture within the principals of my faith are adapted and made a norm for you to adapt and apply to your daily life with positive impact inshallah.
Stay tuned for more and please leave comments below and suggestions for more “bad habit” blogs.